Sixes and Sevens

Seventh year this

Okay six years and some months

It has been long

One break up in between then got back to each other

You are not much nowadays

You still possess the occasional buzz

The tingling sensation that fades in less than an hour

But the strangest thing is, it is your boredom that keeps me glued to you

Strange huh?

You are not interesting at least not to me.

We are so long into this it no longer matters who else we see on the side

The intimacy has faded into a repetitive normalcy

An uncertain sense of “really! That?”

It is actually a marvel watching you reinvent and try to please more

Loving and being loved by more

I enjoy watching you being picked up, and they get younger with every generation

Sillier with every proclamation

Wilder with every show casing

You would go out with anyone wouldn’t you?

It is a good thing you never bother with commitment

Yet seven years is a long time

Okay Six years and few months

I still love you Facebook

You bore me, but I Love You.

rants and raves of the yesters

Is there medicine to clear conscience
Is their reprieve for gone reprieves
What happens to lost causes
and those squandered second chances
all I had to do was stay silent
work my way through the day but darn well stay silent
Even that I didn't do well
What is harder
Loosing the fragrance of the flowers
Or having to watch them wilt away too
I lost the fragrance of the flowers
and now the vase is broken too.
Its like giving up you laces
and staying with your shoe
Uurgh!! I was better of bare foot

what if I was a cat

I wished I was a cat
Oh! wait..
I wished!
It got to a point that bad I actually wished
I wanted to be something anything
Rather than that which I was
Or was becoming
That who I was
Or was becoming
I needed an escape
A route out
Yet non forthcoming
I wished I was a cat then I could blame it on my other lives
I do not know
I did not know
But I wanted to
I want to know

I wished I was a cat
For it would explain
It will explain the sudden change..
The anger
The pain
The shame
The despair
The disdain
The games
Aaaarrghh
I want to be a cat
With playthings
and a dedicated playtime
With milk
and endless period of time to decide
I wished I was a cat
I am wishing I am a cat
It must be really bad.

I am human
I am a being that walks on twos
and have to fend for my food
I just want those nine lives so bad
So that my mistakes can be erased even forgotten
I am human capable of making stupid decisions consecutively
and though I lack the nine lives for trial and error
I know that no one is so perfect as to live without mistakes
No one is so saintly as to be deficient of blemish
What I lack in nine lives I compensate in repentance
I am growing into adulthood
I will have to rid me off this childishness
I can never be a cat
But I can make my decisions better
and I could do with the silence of a cat too
no more what if I was a cat?

 

morning after

She said: Oh no we didn’t!
He smiled looked down at her and said oh yes we did

Calm, collected and somewhat unapologetic.
She sat up rose tainted cheeks
sudden heat rush burst from head to heels
followed by the supper from her bowels,
gob smacked
angry
sad
confused
jumping off the bed
clothes torn off in a jiffy
what purpose do they serve now,
staggered to the loo
hell bent on riding her body off a food chunk or two.
Mucus tears and vomit
no blood a little too early to make a second wrong?
Make it right?
Staggered into a bathroom
peeling paint
laughing at her peeling pride
broken bits of soap
broken dreams
then a ray of light peeps through the ventilation
she feels,
she hopes,
warm water numbing the pain
felt like standing in the rain
more tears
more mucus
no vomit just wails
across to the room
he thinks: what if it really did?
and a smirk curves on his lips
he waits to see her face
for the water stopped running
and the wails are now sobs
and the bathroom door has opened
and he's eager to laugh in her face



.....AIDS IS REAL MAKE THE WISE CHOICE.....

prodigal son

I am a prodigal son to the world
I am the black sheep to its wants
The wild card
I am the square peg in round hole
Stick out
Stand out
I'm not sure anymore
I am like a cactus unchanged in seasons
Consistently inconsistent
I swim against the current
Its how I feed best
Is it unique
Or just another of the several sore thumbs
I am the world's prodigal
Recklessly spending at it's expense
But we all know whose tense here
The world has seen its fair share of sons
It will tell I'm its one
Soon disposed off with other one's

I will complain a little less

Take whats yours and leave whats mine
I cant complain anymore
I cant go back to before
but now that we are here
please be a dear
and take the road thats nearer
I saw you from the corner of the eye
I chose to look away
but its just one apple a day
you break my mettle
you pierce my sense
and you do it in my presence
I cant complain any more
I cant complain any less
I can stay behind and clean up my mess
pick pieces and try
Its the best gift for my self
for this tears
fears
pain
confusion have all been a reward to you,
wrapped in a box of anger
tied by the ribbon of complaints
Im broken
it shows in my tired smile
it screams in my weakened voice
but u are too distracted to see
I cant complain any more
I'll grant you my laughter though hollow
I'll still cook you a despirited meal
just dont wait for me to complain
I am not cast from wrought iron but I rust for every
time I tear, I weld
this tremors are well within me held.
#Wrote this poem for a friend a year ago and she made it through. If this is what you feel I know you'll make it too.

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.6

blue haze, purple phase

If it is in the heart
That emotion is held at
Cut up mine
And see the patterns the glean out
I am a moth's cocoon
wrapped around a silk worm
Trapped in a spider's web
I ride the highest ebb of confusion

Even my heart doesn't get it
How does a record selling hit
Gather dust on the shelf
Disservice to self
Fishy smells: A rat!!
Cornflower laced concoctions
Spells
Bind this heart
Tear it apart in ways it can't tell
Soul's floating
Suspended freely in the dried well

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.6

Solitude

Wide spaces
Large open fields
Filled
With nothing but air
Running so fast
Running so far
Making sense of the Senseless
When did it get so comfortable
Talking alone
Having conversations with the wind
Whispering nothings to the shadows
I watch the vast lands till they kiss the sky
I place my hands above my head
and spin until it takes me away
I love this fantasy
Coz reality has become a little too much
I'll walk along alone
and where I encounter people
I'll start walking back.