oh! so you have a dream

Having a dream counts for nothing!
Work on it
That's the stuff that legends are made of
The sweat
The blood
The tears
Some take years of work
For others, its a moment of brilliance
A little light bulb
That ends up illuminating the world
Dreams count for nothing
Any lazy bum can dream
What do you think a sloth does: DREAM!
What does a convicted man do, dream too.
Just like you
Everyone has a dream
Even chicken try to fly
Few get to their Zenith
Why
No one wants to put in that extra shift
Change your mentality
Work at your attitude
Believe in yourself
Achieve your dream
Otherwise,
Keep talking about
Keep sleeping
Keep dreaming. 

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onions planted with kales

Lacklustre!
I planted my onions in my garden with kales
I wanted them both for food
I squeezed them in my little garden plot
With no space for expansion or growth
Now the onions chocked the kale with acidity,
And the kales deprived the onions off their nutrient requirements
I planted my onions in my garden of kales for I wanted them to grow
Yet now, I have nothing to show 
Little is left to regrow
I could borrow, or I could start from scratch
Then sow my favorite, cabbages!

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one last time


For one last time I'll listen to your voice
Listen as you spew your lies
Listen as you make me hurt
For one last time I'll pay attention
As you shred my confidence and sink my belief
I will lend ear to your form of love
And borrow heavily from your dictionary in description of me
For one last time I will pick up after myself
Clean my bleeding cuts and tend after my swollen limbs
I will cover my shame in bright flowing dresses and huge flashy stunnas
For one last time I will buy the silence of my children with shillings
Bribe them with phones and the newest consoles
For one last time I will cow my neighbors with pride
Literally scare them into silence with my wealth
I will make them wish they were me
Weeping in a beamer than smiling as I walk to work
I will make them embarrassed to have their happiness and turn their smiles into misery and discontent
For one last time I will threaten to walk out
Then go to my knees when my bluff is called
For one last time; I will plan for one more last time
One last time I will laugh off those stupid plans

***********

For one last time, I will fret
One last time I will simmer then boil over
For one last time I will raise my voice, my temper or my arm
For one last time hit at the bed
Then one last time the head board and finally I will shove you in anger away
For one last time I will pain
Take all that hurt and dump it to your frame
Pummeling it and strangling it in vain
For one last time I will punch you and kick you
I will get you to speak, to say to me what it is you seek
For one last time I will tremble
Thinking of the fact that I am,in fact, the failure
Sensing that I am the lesser human
That I am NOT even a man
Resorting to violence
Unable to understand
Unable to read emotion
No manly man
For one last time I will accept rejection
Face my insecurities
Wrestle my demons
For one last time I will walk out and get my act together
Treat my woman like the queen she is.

PS:Weak men hit women. "a 2008 report by the Federation of Women Lawyers of Kenya, or FIDA, says almost 75 percent of women they surveyed reported being abused."

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my voice still speaks clear beyond this steel : listen




I would like to shout out like my friends and say
"I am a victim of circumstances!"
Yet I know I am not
I am a victim instead of my choices
A slave to guilt
A prisoner of fear, anger and shame
I am a convict
A tenant to the state for life.
Each passing day,
A testament to the wasted time
A reminder of the rotting talent
Of authors that write their stories in sand
Everyday a new novel
Of singers and songwriters who compose their songs in the showers belting out the tunes and holding the notes
You can hear the passion as their tracheae vibrate
The teachers teach, patiently
Preachers preach solemnly
I sit at one corner every awake passing hour
Piecing together information
Gathering knowledge for when I leave here
For I will leave
I will be a recipient og president's pardon for I have learnt my mistakes and I have paid my price
But I remain indebted to society
A debt I can't begin tu imagine I will settle in the confines of chains
If you ever listen,
Hear me my son's
Live right and be content with what you toil for with your hands
The blood you shed in your youth,
Stains your palms in old age
Your conversations will always be with the dead
Victims of your insatiable greed
Take it upon you,
To amend your lives before I return
I hear what you do in the neighborhood,  I am not impressed
I never taught you better then but I am teaching you better now
Heed my advice
Sow it in the sun, harvest it in the rain
Enjoy the fruits of your labor under a shade
I will return, and when I do
If you would not have listened to my plea
Or learned from my mistakes
I will make you wish you were held behind this iron bars.


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a village Christmas


Arrow roots
Sweet potatoes boiled
Black tea, dark rich aromatic and brewed
Folk carols singing in the background
Giving the room an even more calming ambience
Children chasing each other across rooms and houses
Mother giving instructions
Father leafing through the daily
Babies screaming for attention
And grandma singing her morning devotion
I had my village Christmas in the city
But I still miss the mooing cattle
Bleeting lambs
Chirping birds and the deep smell of fresh dung
They are irreplaceable

Merry Christmas reader no matter your norms and traditions make it a memory.

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looking for mr. perfect


She always wanted it right
Her hair,
Her dolls,
Her room,
Her life
Just right
Girls are made from sugar, spice and everything nice
All her ingredients were in quantity twice
In quality thrice
And no one knows exactly
The time taken to create her kind
She was particular
She was stellar
She was unique
It was seen by how she held her umbilical cord to her teeth

At seven,
She arranged her dolls facing left on the window sills
They should catch sunlight evenly if they want to stay beautiful
She argued.
At eleven she made modifications to her christmas present
Mother gladly remade it to her specifications
At thirteen, she convinced a city to change a law that allowed parents to deny teens TV time 
She never watched tv herself.

At seventeen, she was head of almost everything that needed leading.
Now at 27, she is hell bent at finding her Knight.   

She spends time in the night observing looking at her subjects
Poring through their lives and picking through their weakness
She is bold and walks up to each man she thinks fits the bill
Do you like dogs?
Her only rehearsed and overused pick up line.
Anyone that doesn't answer, fails
Anyone that doesn't know, fails
Anyone that hesitated, yet answers is a liar who fails
She doesn't tire, she doesn't search in one specific spot.
She knows what she wants she will search for it until she gets it.
She gets what she wants, always.

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tell me how to stay calm




The devil in the details
Like the thought of knowing it is Grandpa
Not the neighbors not a trusted friend but Grandpa
It is the knowing, she said
It is the seeing and having to live with it
It would have been easier numb!
She cried,
Clutched at the hems of her dress
Bit her teeth
Let them flow
Tears, hot
No need to touch to know

Calm down, he urged
How? She asked.
Just tell me how to go to grand ma and not hate her,
For watching
For turning her back
And pretending that you were insane
Insane people wouldn’t know where to touch
Grope
And tear
Insane people wouldn’t know to switch off the lights
To tread with care

It would hurt
I know it would,
But it would hurt a little less
If I didn’t have to remember every feel of the hands over my skin
If it wasn’t so familiar to the arms,
The arms I ran into when thunder struck
The arms that shielded me from the big bad ram
The arms that were to protect me from harm
Those arms grabbed me firm,
Those arms pulled at my perm
Those callous coarse arms
That I washed off the earth and cleaned from digging arrow roots
 Held me back and shut my mouth
Shut in fact my sanity
For nothing would have made me scream,
Nothing would have made me cry
I was stunned
I was frozen
I was scared,
Tell me how I am to stay calm

How!?
How!?
How!?
Give me answers she prodded,
I am sorry, he said.
I know you are its all you ever are!
I want to stay calm. Tell me how to do it.
I am sorry,
I failed you; he added moving a step closer
Her hand moved from hem
She stood firm
Fixed her eyes on his
She cried reminiscing the days he looked at those eyes
And the how she once loved to see them each morning
She was at war within
He was at war too
Another step
She cocked the shotgun looked even sterner
I will do it her stance said
I don’t want to do it, don’t make me her eyes said
He inched even closer
Barrel on his chest pressing at his aged sternum
I am sorry, I really am
STOP SAYING THAT! She barked
Tears and mucus spattered everywhere
She looked away from his tearing eyes
In that fraction he pulled the trigger
Bursting his chest open
He went as silent as he’d come into her room

No!
She hit at his lifeless frame
You can’t
You don’t get to do that
You still owe me answers!
She opened her mouth to taste the steel
She never knew what it tasted like
There wasn’t enough time for the thought to be registered.

To all the children going through darkness your sunshine will come, it will be okay I pray.

rants and raves of the yesters



Is there medicine to clear conscience
Is their reprieve for gone reprieves
What happens to lost causes
and those squandered second chances
all I had to do was stay silent
work my way through the day but darn well stay silent
Even that I didn't do well
What is harder
Loosing the fragrance of the flowers
Or having to watch them wilt away too
I lost the fragrance of the flowers
and now the vase is broken too.
Its like giving up you laces
and staying with your shoe
Uurgh!! I was better of bare foot