What is something you’re tired of? Why?

I tried to call but you were unavailable

I know what I am doing

I am not incapable

You have no idea what it is I am going through

Even you wouldn’t know what to do

I stopped

It was only this one time

My mood just dropped

No I am not on anything

Why does it sound like you are judging?

Look! There is nothing there

I have been here all day

I did not go anywhere

I sold it to pay off a debt

I know what I need to get

That must have been someone else

I wouldn’t utter such nonsense

Forgive me nonetheless

 #Day25

DEAR PAST ME…

 …appreciate those who come into your journey in life

Despite strife,

The dogmas that bog you down

Despite euphoric recall,

And a dependency to them or to you for the wherewithal

Give honey while they are alive

While they are still willing to receive it from your hive

Give flowers

And hugs and kisses in showers

Thank you, please, I am sorry

All from a heart that’s not stony

Throw down the façade

And learn to trust without dread

Welcome free speech

And criticism within reasonable reach

Listen more than you speak

And when they hide accept to seek

Value your present 

#Day24

Thoughts on the Spirit

For purposes unbeknownst to me, there are six horsemen (mostly because I am trying to set a tone for this). This is an upgrade from the four horse men we are conditioned to understand and believe. The four were part of mythology and have been referenced in the bible (Ezekiel 14:21). The four horsemen are war, famine, conquest and death. My six horsemen are greed, lust, lies, pride, murder and theft. Not so far from six things the Lord hates, seven that are detestable to him (Proverbs 6:16-19). The cardinal sins are fated to lead one to destruction. By the mere existence of man on earth, interaction with these sins is inevitable. No human is expected to be entirely pure yet we each are to strive to a perfection. A perfection that seems impossible to attain.

We each have opportunities to live and thrive in spite of being born in a sinful world with sinful nature. We are to engage and participate in the building of our nation at all times. However, even as one partakes in sin, they are expected to heed the call to conviction for it will. Believe me when I say it will come. It will find whether you are ready or not and when you hear the shepherd calling let your ears receive and listen. The call of conviction is from the Holy Spirit and it may be wrapped up in a veil of uncertainty but heed the call. The Spirit calms, convicts and directs you to seek the Lord (John 16:7-8). By the power of the Holy Spirit man is guided in their journey to salvation. All sin however burdening is lifted and handed to your helper (1^st Corinthians 3:16).

The enemy uses guilt and shame to enslave you leaving you chained to whatever vice or character they wish you to play in their grand plan of ruling a world they did not create. There is a constant drumming at the back of the mind, of how unworthy we are to stand before God. This continuous din drives further from the truth of salvation. We constantly remind ourselves of our tainted past and in the same vein we seek to recreate our past transgressions as we believe no help is available. When we are chained to our transgression long enough, we get comfortable in the chains and lack the desire to pursue true freedom. The freedom of living for something other than ourselves. In our abyss of despair, the call from the Spirit seems faint and the Spirit man starves for lack of proper feeding.

While in sin the Spirit man underfed and underutilized. We call on help as a last resort to the Holy Spirit at the point we no longer believe we can get help for humankind. At this time the Spirit is simply a passenger in the body yet it exists to be the driver. The Spirit man is willing to take the fight against the flesh and will constantly send alerts even in its critical state. It will remind you to feed it by every caption of the word you “coincidentally” stumble upon. For every time that you hear the word and feel it speaks to you, that is your cue. Seek help (Romans 8:26-27). Every time you ignore the call it makes the Spirit man scrawny. When the chains are gripped tight enough you realize even the prayers you are making are like a dress up party a rehearsal for something that may not come. Listening to the word, reading the bible or even attending fellowship is merely a show. So that you can be seen not necessarily to work on your faith, or to seek the truth of salvation.

Now the body; the vessel carrying the soul, mind and spirit. Given that what we see from people is simply the sack of flesh and bones they carry around, it is harder to understand what others think. It is not hard however, to observe neatly dressed, well kempt, and even audacious meat sacks. We carry around our bodies. We feed them, wash them clean, we even drown them in different scents and oils. We love our bodies forgetting they may be ours but they were given to us. We are constantly talking, saying a lot more than we listen to. We are complaining, criticizing, gossiping. Every single utterance we make is noted and for that we will be judged (Mathew 12:36). What is the source of these sounds we make, when do you notice your tongue being held back? When do you notice your Spirit man calling you out from saying somethings? Or like most people I included do you speak first then think later? In addition, if you can see your Spirit cautioning you, can you see it in someone else? Do you know when people are asking for help?

I find it in the eyes. The eyes being the windows to the soul is not just a saying. Even when the mouth is agape in laughter, the eyes offer a glimpse into what the spirit is saying. Sometimes a hollow stare to a horizon far away is enough to realign you to what you really ought to be engaging in. It will alert the Spirit to spring into action. A moment in tears, eyes welled up and lips quivering may appear as pain to the body yet it could signal freedom from pain for the Spirit man. Look at the eyes. See what is shown by the meat sack, then look further and see what the Spirit reveals to you. It does require the discerning of the Spirit (1^st Corinthians 2:14). A discerning spirit is not achieved by wishing or just manifesting. It requires a level of preparation, a decision to lose any and all preconceived perceptions of what is true an what is false.

Finally, complete belief and faith is necessary for the rebirth of you Spirit. This means total surrender; your creator is jealous and does not tolerate half measures (Exodus 34:14). We are but human, made from earth and having bad breath of life filled into us. We are the descendants of Adam and Eve the true scion of the first initiators and propagators of sin. You are a sinner, born in a sinful world how far can you run to escape your fate? The only summation I can think will fit is from (Psalms 137:7-12). You can’t run, but you are welcome to try.

Herculian

There will be tasks
several at a time
worth every dime
none will be more worth
than the task
of winning your mind
again and again

Crikets

There are crickets in the tin cup
Two or three crickets
stridulating in the tin cup
its too loud for just one

There is no light
The tin lamp is out
Kerosene spilled
and put out the light
it spilled from  a knee-jerk reaction
trying to uncover the tin cup
the tin cup with two or three crickets
stridulating

You can hear their wings rub
you just wont see,
for there is no light
and besides the crickets are covered by the tin cup

Dear Landlady

Dear Landlady
I sent part rent
the rest will be late
but before the twenty eighth
Its a short month
you keep the faith

Dear Landlady
please bring back my pail
my towel, and mama she's veil
you did get part rent
and you know the rest will be late
before the twenty eighth
of this short month
so keep faith

Dear Landlady
cut down the broadcast
and gossip that's scripture laced
you need not justify the hate

I'm certain I sent part rent
with a late note for the rest
just not twenty eighth late
where is your faith??

Two minutes to midnight

Two minutes to midnight,

I will not be going home tonight

I have no home

Feet swollen and smelly

Socks clammy and stinking

I miss my girl

She won’t sleep next to me

I won’t hear her bother me

Breaking into play
Digging her feet into my ribs

Punctuating that with attention cries

Two minutes to midnight

Cold toes on a cold tiled floor

I could wear socks

But how will I wash them?

I could wrap a blanket

But the guard is peeping curiously

Who owns an office and sleeps at work

Two minutes to midnight

Six hours to daylight

To peppered face and brushed teeth

To clean clothes and new muse 

To daybreak

Excellence;a habit

We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.

-- Aristotle

Aristotle must have been stoned when he coined that, it’s how I trivialize every important discovery. I mean it is so obvious, and yet people still come off the blocks defending their habits. First step is admitting, I have been a serial late comer all my life. It boiled down to lack of planning for anything and everything. I always winged it and it worked. I was brought up in a strict home. My parents were sticklers for rules and they were big on repeat offenses. Whenever I did something wrong, my mother never shied away from pulling previous related mistakes. In short I was a repeat offender. Time was spent charting a chronological path I had taken that had led me to my current mistake and mother always knew how, where and when the dots connected. It was her superpower weaving actions reactions and dishing consequences. My father on the other hand believed that every mistake was a lesson. He still holds this belief to date. I was coasting through life, I never worried much and subscribed to the thought that what is past has already passed.

I took a look at my time management skills or their lack thereof and concluded Aristotle had something going. When I was in primary school I had a habit of getting ready early then slipping behind the curtains for a nap. I stood during this nap; it is possible (without meditation or medication). I always listened out for my name being called and I would appear just as my father folded his hands to pray. I succeeded in making it to school early because my parents wouldn’t have it otherwise. My siblings also helped, my younger brother always woke me up as he was going to the bathroom and would do the same when he came out. I would then proceed to the bathroom have my shower and rejoin him in the bedroom we shared as my nightmare begun. 

Each morning was a game of memory-jogging trying to remember where I may have kept my tie, my books (after doing my homework or just staring at it), I couldn’t find my sweater, I just winged it. I did not think anything was the matter. I would not admit it either it would just be admitting my parents were right. I realize now just how foolish that is, that was, that will always be. I went on to complete my primary school studies winging it. I joined high school and was away from home for the first time. I was thirteen and hell bent on maximizing my freedom. In high school if the bell rings for morning preps you had about five minutes between the bell ringing and you sitting in class. The distance from the classes to the dormitory could be a kilometer or less but people had done it, you were not an exception. 

I suddenly realized the importance of having a neat shirt on the ready, brushing my shoes at night and sleeping after showering. Those activities I could not manage to cram into five minutes in the five-minute-morning. As I advanced in classes I was chosen prefect, a privilege I abused with such delight I wonder how I stayed on for so long. As a prefect several people were willing to do me favors in exchange for a pardon for a mistake made sometimes out of a misguided belief that I owed them something. Most times you asked someone to do something for you and they did; no malice. As such I stopped brushing my shoes in form 2 someone took care of it. I had a clean shirt and trouser each day and I was up early, all taken care of. No one was bothered by the habits I was forming though. I was taking it all for granted, while my friends planned for exams and had timetables I thumbed through what I felt like, mostly novels and magazines. I wasn’t too worried with getting to class late for preps I was a prefect no one would question. I finished my high school still being woken up.

Going back home my mother castigated my sleeping hours, I started thinking maybe the problem was indeed the sleep. Fast forward to campus, I recall I only kept or followed the timetable for a semester. It was a lot of trouble because essentially I was trying to rewrite a tale. I was relearning a habit I never quite remembered grasping. I had at each stage of my life dropped consistency with every activity to the point that winging it had in fact become my habit. I repeatedly acted aloof went about life without a plan and seldom following through the many plans I set out. I have lived to see the habit tear apart more than it has built. I have seen it take center stage at the staging of my life’s orchestra and even conduct it a few times. I know what it means to go through motions of only hoping and wishing and finally lamenting. I have been honest enough to admit that my parents were right. It is better to have a plan and fail for then you may retrace your steps to the glitch. Success with no plan is short-lived. So I made a plan and this is me following it. I don’t know what comes of it, I just know it is yet another plan made, it begs so desperately to be followed. What are your habits? Are they your excellence?

#100daysofblogging #day19  

shadows of little delight

itchy fingers
not from wanting to steal
itch fingers
from burning to write
yet
blank...

with a mind so full of thought you would think I have endless of things to say
well in truth I do
but the influx of information coursing through my veins I cant share
hide the truth in plain sight
keep it from all including myself

the cost is greater than the profit and all my mind can think of is
does it ever stop?


#ayearlater 

Defeated

Deep seated conflicts
Resting in the subconscious self
Hard hitting waves
Of a human mind clinging to a former shell
Worn out shock absorbers
And punctured battered skins
The strength taken to cast nets
Varies from that used to haul them

_#100daysofblogging_ _#day17_

the world at your fingertips

 On July 1st 1997 Dr. Jan Hawkins wrote an article titled "The world at your fingertips." In it she detailed how the world will be impacted by the changes in technology, with great emphasis on the benefits this change will have on education. Two years later, Dr. Hawkins passed on, but like all the great minds before her, her ideas took root. It is this ideas that have given birth to an explosion of awareness and realization, prompting experiments across the globe. Case in point it took  Albert Einstein fifteen years to prove the general theory of relativity and five years to get the theory published in a recognized journal when he first proposed it.

In the current world a scientific paper, article or essay is posted online Timbuktu on Tuesday night and when the author wakes up they find four hundred unread emails, thirty missed calls from various journalists requesting an interview with an entire brigade of paparazzi outside their homes waiting to take the first picture. It's called going viral That may not happen exactly as stated but you get the drift; the world is wired small and tight! access to information is closer than the proverbial doorstep, it is in our ears, our palms OUR FINGERTIPS! We have material to learn more, to inquire, to improve, to inspire we may have well exhausted material on what we have.


Dr. Jan Hawkins saw a future that meant it would be easier to teach and to learn, a future that included faster and more efficient ways of solving tasks. She saw better time efficiency and increased personal as well as professional development. Hawkins was right, indeed technology has enriched as well as increased us, but(there is always a but sometimes even two) to what extent have we made use of the technological gains we have? It is about time we asked each other as we do ourselves, how well do we use the world at our fingertips?

#100Daysofblogging #Day15

I intend to introduce another argument on knowledge and how its influx may not be as rosy as Hawkins highlighted, but that is another post for another day.  

The birth of this post was the possibility of avenues to read and satisfy our curiosity, expand our understanding scope or for whatever reason you read. It was this condensed list of free online course