faith

It's lack of faith that makes people afraid of meeting challenges, and I believe in myself.

-Muhammad Ali

I stood across the cliff
I watched the birds leap
And the animals make their way
I held on to the ropes
But,
I lacked the faith to take the step
The one step towards my goal
Towards my dream

I stood upon the board
The springy diving board
I watched my peers dive and scream and laugh and splash!
But
I held on to my fears afraid to take the plunge
I took a step back
Then two and I was off my board.

I sat long alone in the room
For I chose to ignore the voices that filled my ambience
The chatter that rented my space
I hid in a corner
Intimidated by eye contact
Unaware of willing listeners
I was inferior
I was insufficient
I was afraid

Then I learnt
I shot me down
It was my faith that starved but my fear that I fed
I was capable
I was ideal
I was brave.
Faith conquered fear
Now I cross my bridge.
Dive the depths
And engage conversation

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my Kenya unplugged

The light at the end of the tunnel has been switched off

There is no inspiration
no brilliance
no sparkles or eureka moments

its just a sullen desperation
an oozing of negation

its a pitiful sight
watching them in the shadows of light
eking in darkness
fearing for their own plight

its a tad disgusting
sometimes bemusing
as we await for their mouth to part
and their ever depressing monologue starts

a lie
a hypocrisy coated of democracy
dressed in a black suit scarlet shirt
and of course, with white polka dots, a black tie
feeding the hungry masses with the nonsense from a rank high

a cordial smile
followed by an incoherent speech that runs a mile
punctuated by senseless quotes
serving to punch in awe and importance to a resolved clique
where democracy is a miss

then comes force
like revenge, its served COLD!!
to the young alike to the old
from trucks, on foot
and on horse backs
its hell in reality
ignited by the mere spark of the fool
the common people's fool!
Now trailed by their own trained 'army'
his words hang on to like some important developmental tool

the same fool
that was described by many as buffoon
now herald and worshiped like some god of the moon

fathers standing armed to protect their homes, their kids and kid mothers
mothers rushing to cover the kids
kids cowering behind
fearing for their safety
'soldiers'
'soldiers'
'soldiers'
creating new frontiers

a critical family change
fathers now stand down and are marched around their homes
mothers are slaves and factories for producing more 'soldier' kids
kids are forced into war with themselves and their parents

all in pursuit of power
the crave for a money shower
a loss of principles
a succession of similar principals
submissive governance
oppressive rule
dressed in a black suit, scarlet shirt and of course, with white polka dots, a black tie

another lie
this time with titles, ranks and degrees attached

why should we wait to jump out of the pan
yet now we fry
shall we wait to roast
and have our children lament
watching them propose a new toast?

The light at the end of the tunnel has been switched off

what shall we do?

...
photo credit

stains

Pony tails
Innocent
Buckled waist
Very chaste
Thoughts I'd want to erase
Of a beautiful mind corrupted with kin
A red stain on white sheets
A nightmare that will never cease
Of an innocence robbed with ease
Of a demon lurking within
Of a saint

a saint that never exists
When did it fit for a man to desire the fruit of his loins
Flesh of his flesh

I want to taste the world
To numb the pain of my past
I want to partake of passion: unbridled and fast
To crash my body beyond for my temple they already stole
On white heavy cotton sheets
When he held me by my pleats
And i smiled up at him and he smiled

Mum was away for the night
And he had plans for me
I was naive
But you should see me now
I have become the woman you made of me
You stole my temple from me
On those pretty white heavy cotton sheets
And i hope you could explain the stain

I wish you could feel my pain
When I am held up abused and tied to chains
It feels nice
But the joy melts like ice
And the dreams rule my nights

I forgave you father,
I washed of the stain from my heart
Soak your sheets,
Buy new sheets
But teach me how to look at you as a daughter would
for now I’m just a twelve year old woman in your eyes.

double-double

Don't you ever tire?
Living the double life
Oh Mary! Don't you ever feel
Like taking another jibe
At the impedes that is your sanity
Making headway of your vanity
Swapping your sheepskin cloak
For a furry wolf cloth
Loosing the whole bottle of scent
And finally embracing your stench
Doesn't it get old with age
Dear Mary
The swapping of masks
The interchangeable tasks
The moments of bliss
Enjoyed in splits
The receipt of passion
From an unnumbered factions
Endless attractions
Meaningless intentions
Searching
Seeking
Longing
Hoping
Wanton wanting
Needing
Loving
A double edged sword
A truth that holds
To have
To behold
To lack
To unfold
Two tricks up a sleeve
Oh Mary,
Can't it just be smooth
Behaved
Must the vision be doubled
Tripled
Halved just to be suave?
What happened, 
To saying what you mean, meaning what you say?
You must love the games people play
Using your sunshine to may hay
You say
Is it the only way?
Taking the sword with two sharp ends
Defend it!
Make me understand your love for the double life